Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
