i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
