Please, let me fuck your mom
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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