I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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