you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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