Swine flu. Run for my life!
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Pooping to opera.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
