i just had sex bonerless
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize