My brain says no but my pants say off.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
