Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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