Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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