Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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