I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
