It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize