Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
