Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
