Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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