Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
