piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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