so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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