I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Randomize
