After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
