I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
