So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
