i think my tv is drunk
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
