im holly from the hills drunk
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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