he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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