you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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