Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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