this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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