I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
