And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
