Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
