Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
