Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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