i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
