i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
