Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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