idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
