you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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