i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
