billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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