reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
