forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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