his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
