then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize