I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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