Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
