Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
