addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize