I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
