I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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