i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
