Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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