he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
