One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
