There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
