At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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