Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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