Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
