Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Are these your boobs on my camera?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
