porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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