There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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